The Only One Who Gets Me
by littlecherub1901
Summary: Dean is an in denial alcoholic who's past has finally caught up to him. Can Doctor Castiel Novak save him?
1. Chapter 1

''Dean, look it's not gonna be that bad!'', Sam said with a sigh. Not gonna be bad? Not gonna be bad? Not gonna be bad my perky ass thought Dean. "Dean-"Sam tried but was interrupted with "it's not that big a deal, Sam! It's perfectly normal for a grown ass man like yours truly to have a nightcap,'' reasoned Dean. Sam was poking at a smoke screen. He hadn't been completely trashed in two months and felt he deserved a little incentive to keep on the ''right track''. He sure as hell did not need his little brother sending him to a shrink! "Dean, please, you always do this! Every time you start to make progress you go and do something stupid! Like now!" Sam said tensely as he made a grab for the whiskey bottle. Dean saw Sam's body tense in preparation for the grab and instinctively he let lose a powerful right hook smashing into his younger brother's nose. "Sammy-"Dean began in an ashamed tone, "just Dean no", said Sam as he made his way to the motel door whilst he clutched onto his nose which now oozed of blood. _Damnit! Why can't the kid just let me have one drink? _Dean sighed. Perhaps he needed help after all. He felt the bile rise to his throat as he thought of the sickening blow he dealt to Sam._ For Sam he vowed silently, he would suck up his pride and see the shrink. For Sammy._

A couple of hours later, Dean noticed the creaking sound of the front door opening, signalling Sam's return. "Sammy, I'm sorry, pleases...just I'm sorry." said Dean solemnly. "Yeah Dean I know...but honestly? I don't know for how much longer I can do this. Ever since the fire four years ago you've been on some sorta downward spiral. You need help not for me but for you. Cause all this, ''he gestured with his hand, 'it's gonna destroy you man." Dean listened. He really listened for the first time in four years to what Sam was saying to him. "Okay, Sam" Dean said in defeat. "What?" exclaimed his brother in surprise. "I mean okay, I'll see the shrink. Only once, right? Because Sam, I can't risk hurting you or anyone else. I'm sorry." Dean got out just as his eyes started tearing up. Quicker than a lightning bolt, Sam had him trapped in a tight bear hug. "Thank you, Dean. It'll be good again. I promise.

"Doctor Novak, your 3 o'clock is here should I send him in?" enquired the nasal tone of Doctor Castiel Novak's secretary. "Yes, thank you Victoria,'' he replied promptly. Castiel had received a phone call two days prior from one Sam Winchester. He had spoken of his brother who was on the verge of a break down and had been abusing whisky as a coping mechanism. Naturally, he had agreed to take a personal shine to the case. Alcoholism, like abuse, was one of his more specialised areas. A light knock sounded and he was pulled from his thoughts. "Uh... Doctor Novak? I'm uh, Sam. I spoke to you about my brother Dean?'' Castiel surveyed Sam carefully, he seemed anxious. Castiel smiled warmly and said "Good afternoon, Mr Winchester? If correctly I recall? Where is your brother might I ask?" it was at that moment that Castiel noticed that Dean was nowhere in sight. ''He's here. He is just refusing to get out of the car. He promised he would see you but honestly? I begin to wonder if he wants help." Sam told the doctor crestfallen. _What an odd young man this Dean is. Surely he couldn't be that agitated over the reality of seeing a psychologist. _"Right," said Doctor Novak suddenly as he stood, "Let's go fetch him then, shall we?" Bewildered Sam followed the doctor out into the parking lot and finally to the Impala where Dean sat with his face clutched in his hands. With a firm, sure hand, Castiel rapped gently on the window and said "hello, Dean."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: what the hell?**

"What the hell!'" Dean exclaimed at the jerk that knocked him out of his self pitying trance. "No, I believe you are at the Woodgrove Facility," quipped the blue-eyed stranger. Dean was at a loss, who was this guy? Why was he touching his baby? And most disturbing of all! Why was he going to the passenger side and stepping into the car? The man was of average height and build, with a shock of raven black hair but what stood out most to Dean was the man's eyes. They were intelligent and knowing. It felt as if they could look right through him and call him on every lie, every broken promise he had ever made. Dean swallowed nervously but the man continued to stare and wait for him to make the first move. Dean felt vulnerable. This car, his _baby_ was always a safe place and now this person was invading his safety. After a few moments of glares between the two men, Dean reached the most logical conclusion! Blue eyes was a hooker. "Look, buddy I'm not buying what you're selling...I guess you're alright on the eyes but I don't bat for your team." Said Dean as he tried to put an end to the building tension. "Dean, I am not 'selling' you anything of the sort. I'm Doctor Castiel Novak. We had a scheduled appointment that failed to commence." Explained Castiel carefully, not wanting to frighten Dean off again. Dean was afraid of facing his inner demons, that was clear but the fact that he had made it to Woodgrove _was _an achievement. "Oh geez... dude...sir ...doc, I'm really, really sorry. That was stupid of me. I-"Dean rushed out in a wave of panic only to be interrupted with the soothing gravelly tone of Doctor Novak. "Dean, it's alright. I do apologise for startling you. Call me Castiel please, "doctor" makes me feel old." Reassured the doctor quietly, unwavering eyes locked onto Dean's. _Wow, those are really intense eyes. How do people even focus when talking to him?_ '' Yeah, you sorta caught me off guard, easy thing to these days.'' Mumbled Dean, deciding to rather focus his eyes on the azure coloured tie worn by Castiel. "Dean, come up to my office, with me so that we can talk? No analysing or therapy involved. Just a little talk." The way Castiel asked made Dean, feel as though he wasn't a shrink, but just a normal guy but the thought of rehashing all of those old wounds was an unbearable thought for him. He couldn't and he felt rotten to the core because he promised Sam! He promised his kid brother that he would always be there for him, do anything for him. And now? Now Dean was sitting, paralysed in a car. "I just...I can't, Doc. This was a mistake. I should go." Dean got out eventually. He hoped that Castiel would get the not so subtle hint to get out of the car. "Dean, do you know that I spoke to Sam for over a half hour a few days ago? He told me how good and strong you were and how you always found a way to help him. Sam needs you now more than ever. He needs his big brother. He also told me that you swore to seek help, Dean? This is your chance; I'm offering to help you find healthier ways to cope. Ways that won't impact you or Sam negatively. So, what do you say, Dean? Be brave not only for Sam's sake this time, but for yours,'' pressed Castiel. Dean knew he'd been hurting Sam, but the way Castiel described what Sam had done tore him up. So after a few silent moments of contemplation on Dean's part, he said: "So, Castiel what kinda name is that?" A small victory to Castiel which caused him to give a half smile. "Come on up. After we talk I'll answer that.'' This seemed to be the only motivation Dean needed and gave a small smile in return. "Alright, lead the way Doc." And for the first time in a long while, Dean believed that he _could_ get better, that he _would_ get better.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Author's note: Hey guys!Been a while let me know if you like what I'm writing so far! Reviews are LOVED :D thanks **MaggyStar!

Disclaimer: Not mine

Dean and Castiel began the short walk to the office. Neither said a word but it was not an uncomfortable or awkward silence. Dean tried not to think about what he was about to do or say and so decided to distract himself by evaluating his new head shrink. He was slightly shorter and nerdy, but possessed the most startling eyes. Blue eyes. Dean was a sucker for blue eyes. Dean sighed and cursed that Castiel was not a woman because those eyes? _Damn. _Castiel gave Dean a questioning look but Dean just shook his head and smiled nonchalantly.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Take a seat so long, I'll be with you in a moment." Castiel said when they reached his office and indicated that Dean should enter. The office, Dean decided, was _calming_ it was painted in an off-white, almost cream colour with a large, comfortable looking recliner. On the wall to his left was a beautiful painting of the sea with a large rock protruding from the surface and a flock of seagulls circling it. Dean wasn't one who cared much for art but _this? This was amazing. Unthinkingly he reached out to almost touch it._ Suddenly a voice shook him by saying, "I painted that during a holiday in Cape Town." Dean turned surprised to see Castiel very close behind him. "Shall we start?" asked Castiel with a small smile. "Um..." murmured Dean nervously. "Dean, I'm not going to do anything you are not comfortable with. Take a seat. Relax. This is a _safe_ place." Castiel said in a soft voice. It took Dean a moment (and a short staring match he lost at miserably) before he took a seat; Castiel sitting in the opposite chair. "so, doc...how ya gonna dissect me?" Dean asked nervously. Castiel's mouth twitched. "It's Castiel and I don't plan on "dissecting'' you. I'm here to listen and to help. For now, let's start simply. What do you find satisfying about your addiction?" replied Castiel and motioned for Dean to answer. Dean made to speak; his quick temper rising rapidly but Castiel held a hand up to stop him, seeing the defiance and rage in his eyes. "No, Dean. Think hard about this. I know instinctively you want to lash out and defend your ''habit'' but I must insist that you face the truth because if you don't it will consume you. This is the only way to get better. Let's try again, Dean. What do you find satisfying about your addiction. Dean was livid! How dare Castiel? He didn't know _anything _about him! He didn't know who he was, he didn't know about the fire that Dean believed he caused when he was ten. He didn't know about how Dean's father hit him when he missed a patch of grass while mowing or how he hated who he was after his dad came into his bedroom that one cold, dark night. "I... Cas," Dean tried again. "It's alright take your time," responded Castiel shortly. Dean thought for a moment...it would be _nice _to finally get all of his inner demons out to someone who wouldn't out of obligation, judge him. Castiel was being _payed _to do this, he wouldn't really care what Dean had to say. He'd probably just forget when the next patient walked through that door. "I guess it started when I was fifteen, I got into a bit of a thing with my dad," Dean started bitterly, "and well it mighta come to a few blows. The booze sorta helped with the edge and numbed the physical pain a bit. I blacked out that night... Can't remember much else. That's when it started. Castiel surveyed Dean and waited for him to finish. He was no fool; he could tell that Dean had done some major editing but it wasn't time to _push_ him just yet. They had to work on Dean's pace. "Had things always been strained between you and your father?" Castiel questioned after a moment. "Pass," replied Dean with a tight smile. "Dean-'' began Castiel. "No! Just, just drop it. Leave that man outta this" said Dean too loudly. "Okay, we won't talk about him." Castiel said simply. Dean was surprised at how easily Castiel let the issue go. He probably didn't want to scare off such a damaged customer thought Dean venomously. "Okay, then." Said Dean after a while. Suddenly the harsh buzzing of Castiel's phone erupted. "Yes, " answered Castiel politely. "Doctor Novak, your 5'o clock is here." the voice responded. Castiel sighed. Just as they were finally getting somewhere. "I guess I'm off then," said Dean in a relieved tone. "Yes," agreed Castiel, "but I do insist that you come in for another session next week." Dean mumbled something that sounded close to "yeah, wouldn't want your money to run out". "I beg your pardon?" asked Castiel suspiciously. "Nothing, Cas. Til next week." Said Dean quickly. "Until next week,'' murmured Castiel as Dean made his way out of the office. Dean was _not _going to make this easy he thought but luckily, Castiel was a patient man.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Author's note: And there's chapter 3!Good or bad let me know **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:not mine**

**A/N:**** Sorry for the late up date (hides face in shame) but that stupid thing called life got in the way again**** rest assured this will NOT happen again. This chapter is slightly more angsty and focuses on Dean refecting on his session with Cas.**

**Reviews are really appreciated**

**Chapter 4**

The drive home from Castiel's office seemed to pass by in a blur and Dean began to feel the strain hitting him as the clock hit six. He decided to treat himself to a non-alcoholic beer and a bacon cheese burger. He wasn't quite ready to give up all forms of the stuff but felt he deserved some credit for switching over to the non-alcoholic kind. Hey, Castiel never banned it. He sighed it wasn't the same...maybe he could buy a bottle from the town's pub. He immediately began to feel guilty for even thinking it. He new he was just starting to get clean but he was determined not to have a relapse. He couldn't let Sam or Cas down._ Cas? Why do i even care what that prick thinks...it's his job. He's payed to care and listen to me bitch_,thought Dean to himself. But a little voice started up inside him, what if Cas _did _care? What if he was being a giant ass for treating Cas like a good for nothing douche bag?Dean sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. A glance at his watch informed him that it was now on 6:30. He threw the remaining contents out of the can and made his way to his tiny bathroom. He and Sam had shared the house since they were kids, and after their parents died,continued to live in it. It didn't much hurt to live there,Dean supposed that it was because they re-modelled it after the house-fire, leaving almost no trace of the God-awful tragedy. Dean turned the water on and waited for it to warm as he stripped. After a few moments he jumped in and almost groaned as the hot water beat down his back, releasing the pent up tension of the day. He scrubbed himself and just stood there to mull things stayed under the water until he began thinking about all that had happened with Cas... _Had things always been strained between you and your father?" Castiel questioned after a moment. "Pass," replied Dean with a tight smile. "Dean-'' began Castiel. "No! Just, just drop it. Leave that man outta this" said Dean too loudly. "Okay, we won't talk about him." Castiel said simply._

Castiel was the most infuriating man Dean had come across in a while. He hated away those razor sharp eyes missed nothing. He hated the way Castiel gave him a thoughtful look and waited too patiently for Dean to talk. He hated the way Castiel seemed to know when to push and when to let things slide but most of all,Dean hated himself for not being strong enough to confide in Castiel. He appreciated the way Cas didn't push him to let him in and tell him everything but the honest truth was that he wanted to talk about it but a part of him felt that if he could _hold_ onto those years and what his father did,it would be never be _real._ The touching and groping...the beating...the blacking out after a bottle of whi- No! He wouldn't go there. He angrily shut the water off and made his way to his bedroom.

After he changed,he glanced at Castiel's business card. He had taken one whilst Castiel hadn't been looking his way. He turned it over in his hand and the reverse had a cellphone number on with a small note on the back

_Dean-_

_I saw you looking at the cards. If you need to talk at any time of day or night you can reach me on this number. Take care_

_-Cas_

Dean stared in surprise and realised he probably wasn't as subtle as he had hoped. He smiled to himself as he realised that maybe he wasn't just a job. Maybe Cas cared enough to hear him and help. Dean placed the card beside him once more and drifted off to sleep and hoped that even without the alcohol he wouldn't have the nightmares...


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: not mine**

**A/N:**** Hope I get some credit for updating twice in one Week: p thanks to everyone who liked and followed the story and on with the chapter!**

**Reviews are really appreciated**

The week following Dean's appointment passed in a blur for Dean and when Monday came again, he was feeling fairly optimistic about his appointment even though he felt a little nervous. Would it be weird that he didn't call CAS or would it be weirder that he didn't? Should he mention the business card or pretend the whole thing never happened? "Dean!" yelled the irritated voice of Bobby Singer, "Come over here, idjit!" Dean winced he still had three hours left at the car garage and he'd been pondering and fretting over his next therapy session that he hadn't hea- "Dean get your ass over here! We have a customer!" Bobby yelled again. "I'll be right there!" he yelled back and quickly sprinted over to the front of the shop. Now, Singers auto was layed out in such a way that the main garage was to the side of the reception area. The reception area had a small door that led into the workshop in case Bobby or his wife, Ellen, couldn't be there and Dean or Ash had to step in. Once Dean was finally through the door he fixed his best ''I'm so cute please don't hate me face" "Don' give me that look, boy. I ain't buying it" Bobby said with mock outrage. Dean grinned back. "Sorry, Bobby got a bit distracted with the Volvo at the back." "S'all right. Got a customer out front with an F40. Says the engine kept cutting. We had to send Ash out with the tow truck to get him." Dean whistled appreciatively. While Dean wasn't much of a Ferrari man, he sure could appreciate the beauty. Still, nothing could beat his '67 Impala that Bobby had given him as a wreckage. Dean had built her up from scratch. "F40, huh? Rich guy. Hope he ain't a James Dean wannabe or something." Dean commented. "Nah, he seemed pretty nice las' I spoke to him on the phone. Name's Novak. Can't for the life of me pronounce the first name. Cassiel or something" answered Bobby shortly. Dean froze. It couldn't be Castiel. That would be too weird of a coincidence. But who was he kidding? A name sounding like Castiel and with the same surname? It was Cas. It had to be. "Something the matter, boy?" Bobby asked looking worried. Dean shrugged in a way he hoped looked careless, "I...um think this guy's my shrink. You know? The one Sam finally got me to start seeing..." his voice trailed off. "Well good for you, son! 'bout time too. "Bobby said genuinely. Dean smiled,"Yeah I guess it is. I better go help him out then." And with that Dean made his way out front and -just like he suspected- was Castiel leaning on the driver's side door. "Dean, I didn't know you worked here. How are you?"Asked Castiel with a surprised smile. Dean smiled back. "Hey, Cas. I'm ... guess that never really came up. So your engine keeps cutting?" asked Dean cheerfully. Castiel scowled at his car as if his mind alone could will the engine into coming to life. "Yes, that appears to be the problem." Said Castiel in a suspicious voice. Dean noticed. He also noticed at how adorable Castiel's glare was. Forcing himself not to smile too much he continued with standard questions. "You don't sound too sure about that." Castiel steered his eyes away from the traitorous car to look at Dean directly. "Well, my younger brother used my car. Gabriel isn't the most considerate person on earth when it comes to others' property." He answered grimly. Dean smiled as he recalled the time when he had tried to teach Sam how to drive the Impala. The day's work had been ruined as Sam had forgotten which pedal was 'stop' and which was 'go'. Dean's poor baby had collided with the large oak tree. "Yeah, guess no one told you baby brothers and cars don't mix." said Dean with a laugh. To his surprise so did Cas. "No, I'll admit I was ill-informed. Not mention of what to do if baby brother's wreck a car in the user's manual" joked Cas. Dean made his way over to the engine and popped the hood and nearly fell backwards out of sheer amazement. "uh..Cas. When last did you, "Dean cleared his throat," clean your engine?" finished Dean with a sound that sounded suspiciously like a stifled laugh. Castiel frowned and made his way around to the front to see what Dean had found so amusing. Castiel let out an audible gasp. The engine was covered in pink gunk and thick, sticky goo that could have once been chocolate. Scattered amongst the chaos were big, bright, sequined blue and red feathers. "What in hell?" said Cas slowly. "Gabriel must have tried making chocolate candy floss again." Continued Castiel with a sigh. At this Dean really cracked up so hard that his ribs began to ache. His first truly genuine laugh in what felt like forever. "Wait, your brother has done _this _before?" Dean tried to get out amongst full-blown laughs. Castiel smiled. He'd never seen Dean this unreserved, this sociable. "Oh yes. He once stole an elephant from the travelling circus as a gift for my birthday." Shared Cas with his gravelly laugh. "Well, the good news is she's not broken and I can definitely clean her up. It might take a few hours though. Do you have any appointments coming up?" Dean asked. "Glad to hear that all is not lost then. Just yours at three." Castiel informed him. Dean glanced at his watch. It was now 2 o'clock. There was no way that he'd be done by then. "We might have to reschedule that appointment." Commented Dean. Castiel thought for a moment. "Or we could talk as you work? If you're comfortable with that of course." Said Castiel. Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise. If they had their session like that it wouldn't even feel like therapy. Dean's eyes crinkled with another smile."Yeah, I'd like that a lot". The pair made their way to the cleaning supply and soon enough, Dean made a start on the mess.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N :****Hey everyone! Sorry for such a late update but I really do have a valid reason. My account was messing around for some reason but the problem is definitely sorted. This story is very important to me and I truly don't want to write any crappy chapters, so if updating becomes slower it's due to my muse running off into the sunset. Reviews really are appreciated and help to keep me motivated **** Anyhoo I hope you enjoy **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural**

It took a solid three hours before Castiel's car started properly without the sound of goo moving sluggishly through its system. Dean had gone to the back of the shop to put away the remainder of the cleaning supplies. Castiel was relieved but still remained very unimpressed with his brother. Cass glanced at the clock mounted onto the wall which indicated it was now just after 6 pm. He was surprised that the time had passed so quickly but he was pleased with the progress he and Dean made. Dean had asked about Castile's family and he had given a rather detailed description of his siblings. Gabriel was the youngest at the age of 24, yet he maintained a child-like sense of humour according to Cass' annoyance. Despite Gabriel's trickster ways, he was a rather successful sweet shop owner who specialised in manufacturing new treats every single week and then there was Anael-the only daughter of Emma and Charles Milton- who prided herself on her belief that one should always stand up for their beliefs and never back down because if you don't stand for something, you surely will fall, needless to say her "give them hell" attitude had landed her into heaps of trouble as an adolescent but by the time she reached 25, she seemed to find more productive ways of releasing her anger and hurt by joining rallies as opposed to her more hostile vandalism antics. Both of Castiel's parents had died in a car crash when he was 24. This meant that he had to look after a fourteen year old Gabriel and Anael his eighteen year old sister. Lucky for Castiel, he had the support of his ailing grandmother who saw to ith that there was always a warm meal on the table for his siblings while he studied his degree.

The thing about Castiel Novak was that although he was an excellent psychologist, he had a very difficult time when it came to articulating his very own feelings- an irony that never failed to amuse him.

Dean was very surprised at Castiel's story. He had always thought that psychologists in general, had the good life as children and who were later sent off to a fancy school to study the human mind (surely an easy way to make bucket loads of money). The truth (Dean hated to admit) was that Castiel continuously surprised him in the sense that he had also lost his parents and that he had to look after his younger brother and sister. Dean felt a wave of empathy leave him and decided that he should also share some of himself.

Dean still wasn't ready to discuss what his _father _had done to him and so he focused on the more happy days that he and his family experienced (though there were very few). He told Cass of his beautiful mother who would sing _Hey Jude _to him because she didn't know any other lullaby , how she would smoothe back his untidy hair and lay a kiss just above his brow and perhaps his favorite memory of all- the day he found out he was going to be a big brother. Mary had baked a large apple pie and whipped cream up and called for Dean. When Dean reached the kitchen and saw his mom and dad smiling at him,he knew that they had something wonderful instore for him and when his mom uttered those immortal words, "_you're gonna be a big brother,sweety!", _Dean knew he was going to protect the little pudgy baby when it arrived and love he or she with all his might. John was happy then. He didn't drink so much, he took care of his family and loved them with a fierce passion. If only it could have stayed that way thought Dean bitterly when he had finished.

Soon it began to grow dark and after Dean returned from returning the cleaning equipment, he realised that Castiel and he had skipped lunch and dinner. Dean debated whether or not it was a good idea to offer Castiel dinner at the Roadhouse- as a thank you for being patient with him when he had been so rude and unresponsive. "Hey, Cass. It's getting late and I was wondering if you wanted to go 'n grab something from the Roadhouse?" Dean asked in flurry of words. Castiel raised his eyebrows in mild surprise. "Dean I'm not so sure that that would be appr-" but was cut off by Dean's "oh! I didn't mean it like that. As a thank you... you know,for listening and all that". Castiel regarded Dean's flustered explanation and was relieved that he had read the situation wrong. "In that case,yes, I'd love to accompany you for dinner." Replied Castiel in a reassuring voice.

After saying goodbye to Bobby and locking up the shop, Castiel and Dean made their way in Castiel's car to the Roadhouse. Dean frowned at the darkness that met him. The Roadhouse was _always_ open. "It looks like they're closed for the night." Remarked Castiel. "Nah, Ellen wouldn't close it up so early. It-" but Dean was cut off when he heard a loud clatter coming from the building.


End file.
